Nobody knows what to do with Eminem anymore. It’s gotten so bad that Hulu, which will air anything no matter how random, pulled his horribly obvious lip-sync performances from this past SNL from their site.

Ever since he showed up on TRL, Eminem has pretty much solely existed to be in a feud of some kind. Unfortunately, he’s run out of targets, especially since the boy bands of today (i.e. One Direction) are far too young for him to be seen giving a damn about. So, what’s left for Eminem to fight?

Out today, his new album The Marshall Mathers LP 2 gives an unfortunate answer: our attention spans. On the track “Rhyme or Reason,” how are raps in the voice of Yoda, an uninspired sample of The Zombies’ “The Time of the Season,” and a pointless comparison of his mother’s reproductive patterns to those of a Komodo dragon supposed to be contained in the same song?

Writers everywhere are actively referring to Eminem as a rap god, but that wouldn’t be happening if he hadn’t named his second single “Rap God.” Sure, the song is OK, but he’s gotten so far from that title that it’s embarrassing.

And now, his third single, “The Monster,” brings the album to what helped Eminem move so many units from his last album: a made-for-radio duet with Rihanna. Unfortunately, this is just a tortured metaphor involving the monster under the bed.

At 41, Marshall Mathers has little left to contribute on his original terms of celebrity. When Odd Future can shock the world in their sleep, and Kendrick Lamar only needed one verse to call out all his peers, Eminem’s go-to points of relevancy have been taken.

He is an expert, though, in domestic hostility. He has never released an album without significant reference to his troubles with his on-again, off-again ex-wife Kim. A big song about the Chris Brown/Rihanna/Frank Ocean nonsense could have brought him to the table as an expert and not a jester.

This move would have been a big risk, sure, but MMLP2 suffers for a lack of risk. Combine this problem with the last three albums Eminem’s put out — all letdowns across the board — and he’s building a terrible legacy.

For music, check out Music Mix via FilmON:

Related Links:

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Chris Brown: Maybe the only hope is to go full Lohan

 

 

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